I’ve been enjoying these lately for two reasons. One is I’ve been lazy doing 20 min. interval runs which involve grueling sprints in the sand, and instead opt for 30 min. “zen” runs. (basically a comfortable jog)

Secondly I’m enjoying every waking second I’m not attached to some kind of technology lately. If you want me, you’re gonna have to chase after me….muahahahahaha.

But today I decided I needed to get back to some intervals, and it SUCKED!

I was already cranky when I woke up because I have a major kink in my neck and can’t turn my head to the right. Then either my legs or feet weren’t quite functioning and I rolled my big toe in the sand at least 5 times during the run. (I apologize to the residents of Hermosa Beach for swearing loudly) The air was thicker than usual and flies hovered around the washed-up seaweed from the current enormous surf. Yuck! And it was the first time in a very long time that the sprint made me nauseous. Hot mess!

At the end of my run I did what any self-respecting wanna be athlete would do, I had a good cry and yelled at the dolphins swimming nearby for being “so f*cking happy!” Luckily tears merge successfully with sweat and an already red face so unless you make the “ugly cry” you can disguise it pretty well.

I think it’s the culmination of just not feeling, um, great the last month or so. I swear this happens to me every single fall for some reason.

Part of it is fall allergies, but I’ve had other things thrown into the mix like an achy back, stress from having so much to do, and just a general feeling of malaise. (I think that word is funny so I had to throw it in there)

So after my pity party I apologized to the dolphins, then I came to the conclusion that these cathartic moments are necessary wake up calls to reexamine what is working and not working in my life currently.

It’s like with the changing of the seasons you’re somewhat nudged forced into changing as well as to not get stagnant.

One of the little things I’m trying is to gain is more energy, and hopefully change my cravings for everything carb-o-licious and chocolately lately. (mmmmmm bread….)

So I had a surprisingly good and filling Green Monster Smoothie for lunch today, and I’m really trying hard to incorporate more yoga into my workouts to get my back/core back in shape and hopefully relieve a little bit of this stress I’m feeling.

And a big one is to make a list of all the energy drainers and gainers currently in my life and get rid of as many of the drainers as possible.

And I’m also trying hard to not get into any new shows on TV so I can free up some time to read that stack of un-read books on my coffee table. Although I do love the new show, Up All Night.

Anyway, just a start.

Anyone else go through major physical/mental/carb-tastic changes when Fall rolls around?

If you’re not familiar, here they are in simplistic form:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Probably like many of you, I have trouble sometimes a lot following this simple code of conduct.

The one I want to talk about today is, be impeccable with your word, and also, stop feeding the machine.

There is energy around conversation, and the more you talk about things that aren’t bringing any joy in your life, the worse you feel. I’m not saying that there isn’t a time and place to get things off your chest, or work through your feelings, but I often find I have the same old conversations with people about the same negative topics, and it’s not actually solving anything, it’s just feeding the machine (of negative energy).

Yes, I’m 100% guilty of that too. Don’t think I’m letting myself off that easy.

So, as a goal, if I’m having a conversation that isn’t serving the greater purpose of my well-being, or the well-being of the people I’m having the conversation with, I plan on changing the subject.

Nip it in the bud, so to speak.

“You will be a failure, until you impress the subconscious with the conviction you are a success. This is done by making an affirmation which clicks.” ~ Florence Scovel Shinn

I am a firm believer in the power of affirmations. I’m also a firm believer in the power of words in general.

This isn’t a new concept. In fact, with The Secret having been all the rage a couple years back now, and everyone talking about the Law of Attraction, it’s quite a bit more mainstream then it’s been in the past.

Back when I first started college working on my teaching degree, I did a lot of work on myself. You see, I was (and seemingly, can still tend to be) an introvert. I realized that if I wanted to be successful at teaching I would need to break out of that box.

This was when I was first introduced to the power behind words and thoughts.

I told myself over and over that I was strong and confident. I told those gremlin thoughts to hush up. I affirmed that I was a complete and beautiful being and that I loved and approved of myself as did others (this is still my go to affirmation – I’ve said it often enough, it’s second nature to me).

I later affirmed that I was a great teacher and qualified to be teaching in the Atlanta Public School System when I was first looking for a job. I told myself again and again, that I would get a job within APS (my dream district).

And yes, I did indeed get the job. Even after getting the job, I relied on affirmations to enhance my teaching situation.

You see, my affirmations and beliefs were so strong, I was given a job that technically wasn’t available – my principal had someone else in mind for the position, but the district placed me while he was on his vacation. Needless to say, he wasn’t my greatest fan (which is really neither here nor there).

Knowing this, I spent a lot of time and energy affirming that I was in the right place at the right time and that I was working with a supportive and appreciative administration. I had these affirmations plastered everywhere: my car, my bathroom, my nightstand, even my desk at work.

I focused on (and believed in) these affirmations for my entire first year and that summer.

Let’s just say that I wasn’t the least bit surprised when that first day back on teacher work days that my principal would be leaving our school. And yes, my next two principals and I got along great for the remainder of my teaching career.

Trust me, affirmations work. And they work well.

You can use what others have written or write your own (I do a little of both). Here are some basics to get you started:

Speak in the present tense – you don’t want to affirm (claim) that you will make $250,000 – that keeps it in your future and not yet in your present. You want to affirm that you do make or are currently making $250,000…put it in the now. Better yet, I often use something like this…”I give thanks for the $250,000 that has come to me easily and effortlessly.”
Make it sound like something you would actually say – when things get too biblical or preachy or even too wordy, they’re often difficult to remember or to state easily and quickly. If you find a pre-written affirmation or statement that sounds good, but feels a little wordy or not quite right, feel free to reword it in your own voice.
Keep it short and sweet – I have a list of about 10 or so affirmations that I go to from time to time. Some I read nightly. Some I repeat throughout the day. Some are longer; some shorter. To be completely honest, it’s the shorter ones that I can easily remember and repeat throughout my day.
Keep it positive – you’re not looking to lose weight, but instead you’re looking to gain optimal health; you’re not looking to bring an end to your debt, you’re looking to increase your wealth and prosperity.
Make it believable – If you find it challenging or uncomfortable to say your affirmations, like you’re lying to yourself, try starting slowly and maybe add “I am willing to…” or “I choose to…” at the beginning. Baby steps.
Fake it ’til you make it – this is honestly my favorite part about using affirmations. You don’t need what you’re affirming to be real right now, you need to just put some energy and intensity behind it and let the Universe take control. Just pretend you’re wealthy, that your business is booming, that you’re a huge success. Imagine all the great things you can do for yourself and others with your successes and your prosperity. Eventually, you’ll start to believe it and then, you’ll start to see it and experience it…and that’s what matters here.
Trust me here, fake it ’til you make it believe it and you WILL know it and trust it to be true.

My final tip…Just remember to phrase what you want in the positive and add in “…for the good of all involved” at the end. This last bit helps with that whole “careful what you wish for” sort of downside that can sometimes pop up because we’re not totally clear in what we’re asking for.

If you’d like to see a copy of a few of my favorite affirmations that I’ve depended on through the years, feel free to check them out here. I got most of them from Florence Scoval Shinn’s books and then tweaked them to be more me. In turn, you’re more than welcome to tweak them to suit your needs and voice.

Do you currently use affirmations? If so, please share them. If you haven’t yet experienced the power of affirmations, what would you like to affirm and attract into your life?

I invite you to share a little about who you are, what you do and your successes as solopreneur by joining the conversation at the Success for Solopreneurs community.

Katy Tafoya is teacher and a coach who finds joy in helping women claim their passion and expertise. She guides solopreneurs to make their lives and their businesses juicier, more fulfilling and more successful. She also leads the Val Gal quarterly networking dinners which are always open to the public and in the greater San Fernando Valley. If you’re ready to identify, claim and leverage your expertise and live your passion you can sign up for a a F.R.E.E. subscription to her weekly ezine at SuccessForSolpreneurs.com.

WANT TO SEE MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE? See Katy’s blog at SuccessforSolopreneurs.com/blog

…in the meantime, just a recap of the weekend…just because.

Friday I worked from home, then went out later with my friend Cynthia for a, “buy a craft beer, get a free gourmet burger” night at Union Cattle in Hermosa Beach. I always love a good deal! Anyway it was a fun night of girl talk.

Saturday I had volleyball practice in the morning, which I always look forward to, followed by some games. Great weather! Later I cooked dinner for my friend and next door neighbor Erica and then we watched another episode of True Blood, Season 3. She’s more of a fan of Alcide while I’m a bigger fan of Eric. I’m pretty sure she’s on team Jacob while I’m on team Edward. We won’t ever be fighting over the same guy. ha ha!

Sunday I played with Cynthia in a CBVA Women’s A tournament in Santa Monica. We did pretty well in pool play, finishing 3-1 and pooling out 2nd. We started off really strong in the 1st round playoffs, only to have the team we were playing against come back pretty strong to almost tie it up. I think we were at 27-25 when they went to serve and ended up serving it out. Whew, that was close! The next team we played were two teenagers who barely looked like they sweat all day. They pretty much dominated the whole game as their youthful energy seemed to prevail in longer rallies. ugh! Anyway we ended up in 3rd which meant I got another “A” rating this season, which I’m happy about. And of course the teenagers won the whole thing.

After the tournament me, Cynthia, and my friend Dave went to 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica and pretty much inhaled some delicious greek food.

And I fell asleep by 10.

The actual color shoes I bought

I like Tabata on Monday which starts at 6:15 and Whipped on Tuesday which starts at 6:30, and I’m constantly getting those two times mixed up, like I did tonight.

Grrr! Not only that, but I had on my heart rate monitor strap, but forgot the watch. And since I was too late for Tabata I decided to run on the treadmill (which I only do as a last resort), but I had no headphones so it was going to be a LONG 30 minutes!!!

The upside is I already did my 20 min. interval beach run earlier today, so at least this was a “bonus” workout, and I also got to test my new shoes!

I’ve been researching new shoes for awhile since my old shoes are three years old (I know, I know, not good!) and was hellbent on the Nike Free shoe line, but after trying them on at the store I realized the arches in the shoes were driving me crazy. (PS I still love your brand, Nike!)

The lady working there suggested the Reebok RealFlex shoes, and since I had previously owned a pair of Reebok shoes in the past which I loved, I tried them on. They are the same type of technology as the Free shoes in that they are flexible and good for runners who want to strike on their forefoot. More of the natural movement shoe.

I was sold! They felt great! Really light and especially narrow, which is good because I try to de-emphasize the fact that I wear a size 10 shoe and I’m only 5’4.

So I gave them a run for their money on the treadmill, changing the incline to running hills and sprints. They felt really good! Yay!

And it was good to sweat today. Even though I never get too carried away with unhealthy eating or drinking, I did my fair share of mindless eating and especially drinking a bit too much wine. And I hadn’t tracked any of my meals in over a week at myfitnesspal.com.

It’s amazing what an effect tracking what you eat can do. Even if you’re not trying to lose weight, just being more mindful of how much and what kinds of foods you are eating can be beneficial.

Well I’m off to do some life coach homework. Hope everyone has a great week!

3 Ways to Help Your Authentic Self Shine!

“Be your authentic self. Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear or judgement, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you’re supposed to be.”
~ Dr. Phil

I think one of the complaints or beliefs that I hear most often (outside of the standard “but I’m not an expert!”) is the “No one wants to hear what I have to say…I’m just a Blah-di-Blah” sad story.

Most people seem to be under the impression that people are only interested in learning about their one, larger, overly generalized skill. “They’re paying me to help them do xyz or to solve pdq. They don’t want to hear about what brings me I do in my spare time.”

WRONG! (“So you better stop, it is the wrong ‘em boyo!” Sorry…Clash attack)

Believe it or not, you’re not alone as this is a fairly common misconception.

Yes, while people are following you, listening to what you write on your blog or share in your videos (you are blogging and doing videos, right????) to hear all your tips and resources, they’re also following YOU because they like YOU.

They like your delivery. They like your style or technique. They like your sense of humor. They like that you’re Christian or that you sometimes cuss like a sailor (who me?). Or maybe because you like to dress your cat up in costumes or feed your dogs a raw diet.

There are so many reasons why someone wants to hear what you have to say. “You see, sharing a part of yourself allows your clients and your community to connect with you. And when you work together, based on that connection, they feel like they’re not only involved in the process, but that a “friend” is taking care of them.

Who know what it is that attracted them to you. The point is, they’re there and they want to get to know you…the real you.

When you’re being authentic, and you’re sharing a bit of your personal life and what goes on outside of your work life (which is completely different, mind you, than getting TOO personal), you become someone that they get to know and relate to. Someone that they consider to be a friend.

And a little side note…believe it or not, almost any solopreneur or business owner out there shares something a little more personal (either a business challenge, a personal loss, or a fabulous success) – especially in a newsletter or blog post, typically receives get a HUGE swell of support.

So don’t be afraid about sharing a little more of YOU and letting your authentic self shine through.

And as I said before (over and over and over and over)…people like to do business with those they know, like and trust.

Here are three questions to ask yourself that can help you discover what it is that makes you unique…

What are your TOP THREE strengths in your business – the three things you excel at and the reason you started your business?
What is your favorite part of your job – the part of working with your clients that you like best of all?
Outside of your business, what FIVE things excite you, light your fire, motivate you, inspire you or bring your joy?

ACTION PLAN: Set aside 10-15 minutes today (or tomorrow) to answer those three questions. And then share a little bit of yourself with your community.

I invite you to share a little about who you are, what you do and your successes as solopreneur by joining the conversation at the Success for Solopreneurs community.

Katy Tafoya is teacher and a coach who finds joy in helping women claim their passion and expertise. She guides solopreneurs to make their lives and their businesses juicier, more fulfilling and more successful. She also leads the Val Gal quarterly networking dinners which are always open to the public and in the greater San Fernando Valley. If you’re ready to identify, claim and leverage your expertise and live your passion you can sign up for a a F.R.E.E. subscription to her weekly ezine at SuccessForSolpreneurs.com.

WANT TO SEE MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE? See Katy’s blog at SuccessforSolopreneurs.com/blog

As soon as she said that I heard a plane overhead.

In the three years I’ve lived here, I rarely “heard” a plane until that very moment. After she mentioned that I started hearing the planes more often. I became tuned into them after I had successfully tuned them out. Even as I’m writing this I hear a plane.

Now this is not the kind of awareness I was looking for (LOL!), but it is the same method to create awareness that’s needed to be fully present with your life.

How often do you go along in life not “listening” to your body? To your mind?

One of the easiest ways I know I’m not paying attention to myself, is when I get mad at random things or maybe snap at somebody. Like have you ever gotten really angry when you spill your drink. Like really angry? I mean honestly, you grab a paper towel and you clean it up. Big deal. What’s really going on is probably something else entirely.

Have you ever gotten mad at a friend for showing up five minutes late to something? Or maybe has to cancel plans last minute? Unless this friend is perpetually late or constantly cancels plans, there really isn’t a need to get that upset over it, right? I mean life just happens.

A big step is to tune in and create awareness of what really may be going on.

Why are you really upset that you spilled your drink? Maybe something happened with work or your relationship where you felt you lost a sense of control.

Perhaps your friend being late or canceling plans brings up feelings of being rejected or abandoned. Something that may have happened in the past that you’re projecting on your friend.

And by the way, I have done ALL of these things.

So when you tune in to your body and mind, you can begin to answer the questions that matter most. What am I not getting that I really need? What is really happening here? What steps can I take to improve my situation?

I know from experience this has been incredibly helpful. Hopefully you will find it helpful too!

I feel like I’m managing my tasks at a steady pace, and most importantly to me, I’ve returned to my normal gym/workout schedule and better eating habits!

June has been tumultuous for sure, and like I said in my previous blog, there is always a lesson to be learned from the universe when it throws difficult situations at you.

Sometimes when we fight the current in life and that current is rough, it’s hard to have the time and strength to see clearly what is really “going on.” You’re too busy fighting!

And so sometimes it’s best to stop fighting. Let go. Surrender.

At first I felt defeated. Like I let the bad guys win. But with a little time and perspective I starting figuring out it’s not about winning THAT game, it’s about playing a new one entirely, with a whole new strategy.

Last Saturday I went to a life coaching expo to meet other coaches in the industry and listen to samples of their style of coaching. We even got a free coaching session ourselves.

I decided to talk to my coach about money. How I feel frustrated with the reality of my current income, and how I’m not making adjustments to my spending to reflect that reality. I’m spending as if I still make that comfy salary I made for years before I was laid off. I said that I couldn’t help feel jealous and resentful that most of my good friends travel when they feel like it, are starting to buy homes (even in LA!), and just don’t have that financial stress in general of an up and down freelance paycheck.

I also realized that because of my lack of ability (er, so far) to control my finances, I’m putting too much weight into making sure I have work and clients that sometimes don’t align with my core values. And so when things don’t go the way I want them to, my world starts falling apart.

And with that realization I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I need to live below my means. Duh!

Now this doesn’t come easy. Why? Well because it’s going to take a lot of work to discover WHY I feel the need to have/do nice/expensive things that my friends are doing. Oh I could get into some deep psychological stuff here but I won’t bore you with those details. The fact is I have a LOT of work to do in that area.

In the meantime the coach suggested I keep an “actual” gratitude journal (not the list I just have floating around in my head) to see on paper just what it is I DO have. And I DO have A LOT!

And I need to constantly remind myself what is necessarily true and not true. So I have friends buying homes? That’s great, but now they are in their own unique financial situation where they need to keep up with the mortgage, fix and pay for everything that breaks or needs maintenance, and potentially might feel tied down to that investment, whereas I have that freedom to bail on my current place if I need to, and not feel tied down.

For my friends who travel ALL the time, maybe they travel because their jobs are so stressful on a daily basis they just “have to get away.” And sometimes even when I do travel the process of packing and arranging for someone to take care of my cat and rides to the airport, etc, can be stressful to me. The best vacation for me might mean taking time to myself to read or just head to the beach when I feel like it to play beach volleyball.

I’m certainly not saying that my friends may feel stressed about buying a home or traveling. What I’m saying is in my mind I’m telling myself the story that their life is more perfect than mine. That the grass is definitely greener on their side of the fence.

It’s about changing my perspective and reframing my current situation.

Now I’m not saying that I’m perfectly satisfied to just live below my means and not be more ambitious to generate more income. Yes, I should ALWYAS live below my means no matter what, but I also need to value myself and my skills and go for what I want in life.

What eliminating my current financial stress DOES allow me to do though, is clear out that space in my head so I’m able to go for what I want and have a clear vision, without taking on things because of the F word.

FEAR.

Trying to figure it all out

This often makes me put off blogging until I can, “figure it all out”, but this is one of those times that I haven’t quite been able to figure it all out, and maybe I just have to take the chance and write down how I’m feeling as openly and honestly as possible.

So with that I say June has been an incredibly challenging month for me. I’m not sure I fully believe in things like the rare three eclipses that are happening this month affecting the energy of the planet (read more about that here), but certainly SOMETHING is going on this month in which I’m supposed to learn something about myself.

I don’t complain just to complain. I honestly believe that challenging situations are put in front of us to learn and grow. My goal is to try and figure out what the universe is trying to tell me, so I can do what I need to do to move on from it, and hopefully never have to face that challenge again. Otherwise I believe you are destined to repeat it over and over until you do learn. This is just what I believe…you may have a different opinion.

I could get into the specifics of what has happened this month, but honestly every time I relive something negative I feel like I’m just stirring up that emotion again and seriously, why bother doing that right?

I can say though that the biggest challenge I’m still facing is about my current profession. There are so many situations that happened this month that I’m still trying to figure out, process, and move on from, but there are still so many unresolved issues challenges that I’m trying to work through. And I haven’t got the faintest idea how to do that. All I know is when I think about it I feel a big knot form in the pit of my stomach.

The glimmer of light is my studying to become a life coach. I’m thoroughly enjoying the process, and at the very least I can say I’m working towards something that I’m very passionate about. I’ll leave it at that for now as to try not to bite the hand that currently feeds me.

I would like to end this on a positive note. If you believe in the eclipses their energy can bring you gifts as well, so I’d like to mention those.

First I had a very good experience being a facilitator at the HOBY Norcal youth leadership seminar at Saint Mary’s College in Moraga, CA.

I was hesitant only in the fact that I’m rarely around teenagers young adults so that was a new experience. I was excited though to put some of the things I’ve learned in life coach training to good use.

Although the schedule was grueling (not to mention I haven’t lived the dorm life in over 20 ye a long time! But what made it special was the student ambassadors, especially the ones in my group (The Hurricanes). They are some of the brightest, sweetest, and most ambitious kids I’ve ever met. Their motivation to change the world for the better was truly inspiring!

I also can’t forget about doing really well in a CBVA AA beach volleyball tournament at the beginning of June!

And a couple little gems that popped up this past week. One being I brought my Iphone in to the Apple store because it was acting buggy. I bought it in November and I have to say I was a bit careless taking care of it and the back was pretty scratched. And I, ahem, may have dropped it once or twice. Shhh, don’t tell Apple. Anyway with no questions asked I got a brand new phone, and also purchased a new protective case for it for good karma.

I also discovered that I had a $100 gift card from my gym (I have no idea how that happened) that was about to expire two days after I discovered it. My gym has a spa so I signed up for a 70 minute vitamin C facial that was absolutely glorious!!

So apparently there is one more big eclipse event happening July 1. So basically my goal this week is to just have an intention of trying to attract the most positive energy I can get. I guess I should really do that every day, not just this week, right? I’m hoping for the best!

What has your June been like? Has anyone had to face more challenges than usual? I would love to know!

Cynthia, Erica, Tim Hovland, Me, Mocha

Friday my good friend Erica moved in next door. For the just over three years I’ve lived in this part of LA, I’ve never had a close friend live in this area, so it will be so fun to just grab a bite to eat or drink spontaneously in my neighborhood, instead of always having to drive to Hermosa Beach to meet people.

We decided that happy hour at Rock N Brews would be a fun way to kick off the weekend. It’s a fairly new place with an outdoor patio and some really good beer on tap, not to mention some really good food. (Try the Harvest Moon Farmer’s Market Salad, the Surfin’ Surfari Shrimp Pesto pizza, and the giant soft pretzel)

On Saturday I played in a Double A beach volleyball tournament with my friend Sarah (Mocha) at Will Rogers state beach in Santa Monica. I haven’t played in a double this year, only an A tournament, and I’ve never even won a single game in a double (I’ve only played 3 in the last 2 years), so sadly that was my one goal for sure.

I should set my standards higher because we went undefeated in our pool! I haven’t even done that in an A level tournament, so that felt great!

We lost in our first round of playoffs 28-26 (damn so close!) but we played hard, and most importantly had a lot of fun.

Later I went back to Rock N Brews with Mocha and our friend Cynthia for a celebratory beer. While we were there we saw Gene Simmons from Kiss, who knows the owner and seemed to be doing some kind of cross-promotional stuff with the place, and beach volleyball legend Tim Hovland.

Sunday I got up early to play girls volleyball games in the morning, then spend some downtime cleaning and getting a much needed pedicure.

Later I cooked pesto linguini with roasted asparagus for Erica and our friends Dave and Peggy. Fun night, but needless to say I need to get back on track with better eating and portion control.

Hope everyone has a great week!